She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
