Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
