Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
