bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
