i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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