I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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