Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
