haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
