2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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