Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
