I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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