she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
