don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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