My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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