you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
