i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
