She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
