i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
