not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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