So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
