And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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