Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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