Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
