she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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