I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
