Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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