i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
