dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Randomize
