i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize