So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
