did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
