Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
