ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
