i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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