I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
