He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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