I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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