Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
