home. puking in laundry basket.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
