like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
