i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
