Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
