if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
