Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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