who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
