Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
