u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
