her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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