they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
