If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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