Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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