I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
